I'm fat, now get over it

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I’m just going to come out and say it. I’m fat. And no, not chubby, she ran away when I was 24 and fat refuses to leave.
I really don’t have much of a problem with the way I look except when I walk into clothing stores and find the ugliest tops costing nearly R1 000. Are clothing companies doing this to spur us on to go on diets or do they enjoy adding insult to injury? I mean, you go into Donna Claire and you can hear the ghost of your ouma telling you not to buy some of their items, cause even she won’t wear them.
My point really is, why is it such an uphill battle for the fuller figured woman to feel like an actual woman and not a Christmas tree at an affordable price? Why do clothes for us look like burlap sacks? I mean making clothes for plus size women is not as complicated as for thinner people, I mean you don’t even sew that much.
It’s so disheartening when you spend a day’s lunch money on a Cosmopolitan Magazine but there’s no glam shoot in there to inspire you. Why not? I mean, look around; it shouldn’t be rocket science to find the models or designers. I, and I’m sure many others, want nothing more than to open up a glossy and say …”Ooh, I need that dress.”
Almost all of the time I’m left with a bittersweet feeling after paging through a magazine. Although the self-help articles are a great booster, I need the visuals to go along with it.
I feel like the people with the power to influence a person’s mindset and often our wellbeing, simply do not understand their market; but here we are, spending money on the things they think we need instead of what we actually do need.
Why is it so difficult for big girls to find one of those cute Mickey and Minnie tops that fit, or those novelty hoodies. The fact the things we want and need are mostly unattainable and unaffordable is largely the reason why so many girls and women fall into depression, because the freakin world wants to turn a blind eye and make like we’re just a spot on their lens. Well, I’ve got news for you, I’m a fatty spot and it’s going to take a lot to get rid of me.
I just wish the world would conform to what is real, not to what they want things to be like.
My Kaaps Glossary:
Ouma – Grandmother

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