I must be honest, I realised the other day that I tend to be a bit of a people-pleaser. Driven by the idea that I must be nice and agreeable at all times. I simply hate conflict and avoid confrontation at all cost. I am no psychologist but I think the root cause is a fear of rejection.
This disease to please forces us to:
- Do what others want, need or expect from us. Even if it means putting ourselves out.
- Always take care of everybody else’s needs and ignore our own.
- Listen to everyone’s problems and attempt to solve it.
- Always be nice and never hurt anyone’s feelings.
- Put others first before ourselves.
- By no means say no to anyone regardless of how busy and swamped we are.
- Never disappoint and let people down.
- Not to burden others with our problems even though we need help.
So how do we go about curing this disease?
- Work at building a better relationship with ourselves, because if we like ourselves, others will like us too.
- Have you ever wondered why they treat us a certain way? We encourage it. When we disrespect and neglect ourselves, others will take their cue from that.
- It is time to implement the ”Let me get back to you” rule instead of saying yes all the time, look at your schedule. And if you can’t accommodate people in your diary, simply say so.
- We need to set boundaries and become patient with ourselves. Trusting that we are enough.
And remember, you cannot be everything to everybody – be kind to yourself!
*These are the opinions of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the views of Vannie Kaap News.